I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
Randomize
