we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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