Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
This couple is walking their pig around campus
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
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