hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
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