now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Randomize
