lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
Randomize
