That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
Randomize
