Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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