I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
Randomize
