im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
It's no shave November. This is our time.
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Randomize
