NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
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