I accidentally told him I've been cheating on him with his brother last night.
How did that happen by accident?
I was drunk and vomited all over him and thought, "maybe he will just stay with me out of pity if I tell him with stomach acid and alcohol all over his crotch." I was wrong.
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
Randomize
