I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
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