Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
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