her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
Randomize
