Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
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