So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
Randomize
