I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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