moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
Randomize
