Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
Randomize
