I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
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