i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Randomize
