According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
Randomize
