people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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