She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
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