brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
