It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
