There is no way he is gay with that hair.
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
no you cant smoke seaweed
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
Randomize
