White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
operation harelip BJ is a go
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
Randomize
