And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize
