I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
she looked like the before picture.
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
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