every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
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