pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
Randomize
