ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Randomize
