I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
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