First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
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