Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Randomize
