We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
