wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
whose ass print is on the piano?
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
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