Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
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