I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Randomize
