i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
Randomize