He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
Randomize
