I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
We smell like vodka and hangover
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