Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
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