Pappa wants mamma naked
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Randomize
