I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Randomize
