Just bummed a recreational vicodin off my friend's 40 year old boyfriend & am hoovering a breakfast sammy from costco. And I don't have a boyfriend because why?
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
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