i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
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