I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
i just made my gag reflex go away.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
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