We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Randomize
