a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize