i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
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