in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
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