She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
I look better un-naked...
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
Randomize
