he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Randomize