I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
Randomize
