handjob tips. give me some.
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
smell my finger.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
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