Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
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