New invention idea: vibrating tampons
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
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