What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
