did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
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