We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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