I am puke
take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
Randomize
