if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
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