Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
He kissed a someone with a penis
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize