Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
And the cops told us we were all naked.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
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